So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
