it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize