Well apparently he's into motor boating.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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