I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
