I want to walk on stilts...naked
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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