the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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