woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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