i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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