I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
