we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
