New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
