and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
