Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize