What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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