guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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