I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
