Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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