So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
