Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize