Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
