we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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