Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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