If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
