she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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