all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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