the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
