I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
