Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
