I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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