he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
