I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize