i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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