Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
