Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
