I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
