ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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