ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
