I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
