I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
