Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
