don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
