the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
