after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
