i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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