i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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