VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wear drunk well.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
