So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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