is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
