I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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