Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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