i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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