He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
