Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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