They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
