The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You made out with two different species that night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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